(Disclaimer: All people featured here as superhero characters gave me permission to do so several years back. Some of them in writing, no less. Characters that are based upon no one will appear in this story ... in a later episode ... and some former characters have been changed to prevent infringement arguments on down the road. Anyway ... "identities", such as they are, have been used with permission.)
"It turns rocks into food. I'm going to market it to hobos," Inspector Gizmo said proudly.
"Why not market it to everyone?" Assimilator said with characteristic support and enthusiasm. "F---! I want to eat rocks!"
"You ... already do." Said Huma, giving him a patient yet withering look.
(note: What does Huma mean? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huma_%28mythology%29. There IS a method to my madness! I swear. And this is a pretty damned flattering one, if I do say so myself.)
"Silence!" Assimilator said abruptly. He melded into a nearby tree and observed the group gathered as not but eyes peering out of the bark. "I am one with the trees! It would be a more conventional eating of rocks! It would look like food but it would actually be rocks. And only I would know the difference. Knowledge is power, and therefore? I would have the power. It's logical!"
In some ways, things hadn't changed at all. Though no one had guessed that Slayer would have been caught in the middle of the League building explosion and hatched from a big white egg found in the middle of the crater. People were seldom prepared for things like that. If they were, then there would clearly be bigger problems than women hatching from eggs. But that was beside the point. Some things were still the same. Really.
"Lemmie see," NoFace swiped the gizmo as politely as swiping could be done. "I'll be damned." It was about the size of a pizza box ... in fact it looked at lot like a pizza box ... complete with pizza logo on the top. She had no idea how it was supposed to work, but decided to give it a try anyway. She loosened small rock from the dirt by her feet, put it in the box and closed the lid. There was a comical zapping noise, and she opened the lid to find a curry chicken skewer. "Curry chicken on a stick?" One eyebrow raised and observed Inspector Gizmo over the lid of the box.
"I like curry," Gizmo said quietly.
"Fair enough," NoFace gave his invention back and ate her poultry on a stick.
"See?" Assimilator said from the depths of the tree. "It's food! AND it's rocks! Now YOU have the power of rock-eating!" Huma just looked at NoFace and shook her head.
"What's it made of?" NoFace asked.
Gizmo sighed. "Ah let's see. Pizza box, unbreakable comb, stopwatch, tube sock, a radioactive thing I found the other day, and a guinea-pig leash." He held up the leash.
"Check. Leash." Huma looked around. "Where's the guinea-pig, then?"
"Yeah," Gizmo rubbed the back of his neck and looked artfully away. "Yeah. It has a little problem. I guess guinea-pigs get turned into rocks when put in the box. Who knew?"
"Poor Pumpkin," Huma sniffed theatrically. "We shall miss thee."
"Oh, he's still around," Gizmo said. He produced a guinea-pig sized rock from one of his bottomless coat pockets. "See? He's a pretty handsome rock, if I do say so myself."
"I'm not sure if that's weird or gross or neither ... or both," NoFace said. "In any case, I guess it really was a guinea-pig in your pocket."
"Why not market it to everyone?" Assimilator said with characteristic support and enthusiasm. "F---! I want to eat rocks!"
"You ... already do." Said Huma, giving him a patient yet withering look.
(note: What does Huma mean? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huma_%28mythology%29. There IS a method to my madness! I swear. And this is a pretty damned flattering one, if I do say so myself.)
"Silence!" Assimilator said abruptly. He melded into a nearby tree and observed the group gathered as not but eyes peering out of the bark. "I am one with the trees! It would be a more conventional eating of rocks! It would look like food but it would actually be rocks. And only I would know the difference. Knowledge is power, and therefore? I would have the power. It's logical!"
In some ways, things hadn't changed at all. Though no one had guessed that Slayer would have been caught in the middle of the League building explosion and hatched from a big white egg found in the middle of the crater. People were seldom prepared for things like that. If they were, then there would clearly be bigger problems than women hatching from eggs. But that was beside the point. Some things were still the same. Really.
"Lemmie see," NoFace swiped the gizmo as politely as swiping could be done. "I'll be damned." It was about the size of a pizza box ... in fact it looked at lot like a pizza box ... complete with pizza logo on the top. She had no idea how it was supposed to work, but decided to give it a try anyway. She loosened small rock from the dirt by her feet, put it in the box and closed the lid. There was a comical zapping noise, and she opened the lid to find a curry chicken skewer. "Curry chicken on a stick?" One eyebrow raised and observed Inspector Gizmo over the lid of the box.
"I like curry," Gizmo said quietly.
"Fair enough," NoFace gave his invention back and ate her poultry on a stick.
"See?" Assimilator said from the depths of the tree. "It's food! AND it's rocks! Now YOU have the power of rock-eating!" Huma just looked at NoFace and shook her head.
"What's it made of?" NoFace asked.
Gizmo sighed. "Ah let's see. Pizza box, unbreakable comb, stopwatch, tube sock, a radioactive thing I found the other day, and a guinea-pig leash." He held up the leash.
"Check. Leash." Huma looked around. "Where's the guinea-pig, then?"
"Yeah," Gizmo rubbed the back of his neck and looked artfully away. "Yeah. It has a little problem. I guess guinea-pigs get turned into rocks when put in the box. Who knew?"
"Poor Pumpkin," Huma sniffed theatrically. "We shall miss thee."
"Oh, he's still around," Gizmo said. He produced a guinea-pig sized rock from one of his bottomless coat pockets. "See? He's a pretty handsome rock, if I do say so myself."
"I'm not sure if that's weird or gross or neither ... or both," NoFace said. "In any case, I guess it really was a guinea-pig in your pocket."
